At photo-op, Grand Defender of the Gender Binary Rick Santorum heroically stops a boy from using a pink bowling ball.
A pink bowling ball?! Heavens to betsy, everyone one knows pink bowling balls are a gateway drug. Next thing you know he might want to chew some pink bubblegum. This little deviant might even want to (gasp!) wear a pink t-shirt.
Dee Snider once used a pink bowling ball. Look how he turned out.
I used to get angry at Rick Santorum, then I laughed at him, but at this point, it’s just sad. Like Rick Santorum, I was raised Catholic in western Pennsylvania, and let me tell you, Ol’ Dog-Fucker Rick is pretty much every adult I knew growing up. I’m not at all suprised how well he’s doing in certain areas of the country. If his campaign wasn’t so inept that in a lot of places he’s not even on the ballot, he’d probably be doing a lot better.
Which is a shame really, because watching Santorum go up against Obama would have been amazing in a car-crash-want-to-look-away-but-can’t kind of way. Mitt Romney, in addition to being the Smiler from Transmetropolitan, has all the charisma of wet cardboard, and since none of the Ruplubican candidates have a snowball’s of beating Obama (who by the way is the best President ever on transgender issues) anyway, Santorum would probably be the most entertaining.
Maybe the Republicans can still pull Chris Christie out of their collective rear-end at the convention or something, but if this cultural throwback represents the best they have to offer, they might as well not even run a candidate this year.
Just last week, Obama was in Seoul negotiating nuclear disarmament with the Russians. Rick Santorum is worried about boys using pink bowling balls. Honestly, which one seems more presidential to you?
